Thinking Out Loud.

That feeling you get when you feel accomplished is the best feeling ever. I finally feel like I have my life together. 

I know what college I am going to.

I know what I am going for, mostly.

I feel calm.

I put my life in a whole new perspective. I recently read an article on Facebook about how we think of love now and how we think romance is dead and that we do not even know what romance is. I showed this article to a few people and asked what they thought about it. One of them said that we may not know what romance is but we can create our own. Which really hit something. How can we tell people that they do not know what love is when we don't know what it is ourselves. We judge those who think they are in love when they may have a different kind of love. Why do we feel the constant need to judge those who are not like ourselves? I will never figure out what makes this world turn. Everyone has a different perspective of everything. Some of us may see someone else's relationship as our business when it is really not. We cannot accept how others are. Why is this? Why are we like this? 

Is it wrong to love 2 people at the same time? Is it wrong to love someone of the same sex? It may be to you but it won't be to someone else. We choose a religion where we are completely against everything that is not in The Bible, but why? We are supposed to love everyone but yet we don't. This world does not make sense to me.

I'm sure everyone has seen the dress controversy, whether it is blue and black or white and gold. This is the perfect example about how no one sees the same thing. Our minds work in mysterious ways. We all see something different. Take that into perspective. 

The Last Goodbye

Ill have to admit that high school was my happy place. I hate letting go of everything. I played my last game on my home court last night and it was emotional. I think the thing that sucks the most is that everyone else already has plans for their life and where they are going and I have no idea. I hate the fact that high school and college are 2 completely different things. 

I'm trying to look on the bright side of everything   I do want to move on with my life but I don't like being shoved out of the nest. I want to gradually be pushed. I'm not ready to go somewhere where I don't know anyone. If I was going with at least one other person I think I would be okay. That's why I want to stay at the college here for 2 years and move out to a larger college. No one approves of that though. 

But I will learn that I just gotta do me and what I believe is best for me.

-xoxo Rach 

Let's Get Deep

So I'm constantly stuck thinking of what I need to do. There is so many decisions to make that are all too difficult. College is a huge decision but I really disagree with the fact that if you don't go to college you're a failure and if you do go then you are going to study something that will cost you thousands of dollars but you might not end up in that field. I don't know why I'm struggling with this more than others but I am and it sucks. There are so many people that have their lives figured out and are signing to play sports at colleges and have their college paid for but not me, I'm not good enough. I've been filling out scholarships like crazy but I feel like it's not enough. 

I'm throwing out the pros and the cons too much, I know that not every school is gonna be perfect but I don't want to be someone who drops out after a semester or a year. If I stay here then I'll get judged since this place is considered "The land of misfits". But there is so much here but yet I want the college experience and recreate myself. 

These decisions are all up to me, I just hope I make the right one. 

-xoxo Rach 

Moving too fast, Thinking too slow

As my last semester of high school has begun I have so much to plan and organize. It's all going by too fast and I can't keep up with it all. I'm doing my best but sometimes that is not good enough. I realized I need to slow down and not worry so much about every little thing. My stress level has hit its max but I have brought myself back down and am controlling it better. 

Planning for graduation has not even started. I am throwing my reception with a good friend of mine and we haven't even planned a thing or taken our pictures together, but we both have so much going on.

I am trying to have more fun this year and I have to admit I am off to a great start. The beginning of the year kinda sucked but I worked my way through it and now everything seems like its in the right place. School still kicks my butt but at the end of the week I have my friends and boyfriend to keep me going. They are a blessing to me and I could not be happier with them. 

So as I try to keep myself on the right track, I need to keep reminding myself that I am not the only person with problems that needs someone to talk to. I feel like this year more people are coming to talk to me with their trust and confidence that I will help them as much as I can. I love the fact that people are comfortable talking to me about their problems, especially since I want to be a counselor. It's a big boost to my confidence. 

Don't let others change what you think of yourself. 

-xoxo Rach