NO RAGRETS

Time is flying by this year and I can not believe we are almost done with January. I told myself this year was going to be a fresh start for me and I haven't been exactly doing very well. I have been struggling this year already and I need to get myself back on track. 
After some very intense thinking over the weekend I realized everything happens for a reason and I need to accept my flaws and my mistakes to help myself become a better person. I need to start focusing on my future since I have no idea where I am going to college yet and have not filled out many scholarships.
In class the other day my teacher gave my class a piece of paper that said "How to ruin your life (and not even know you're doing it)". It was the most inspirational paper I have ever read. It basically said that it is okay if you do not have your life figured out right away, and that you are ruining your life by choosing the wrong person, or letting your past govern your life, when you compare yourself to others, desensitizing yourself, and tolerating your life. 
You don't get another chance at life. This is the time where you make yourself happy or travel the world and get out there. You are only this young once, you need to get out and live your life. 

-xoxo Rach

You don't get everything you wish for...

I tried to follow my heart and it got shoved back in my face. I shouldn't have done what I did but it's done and over with and now I don't know what to do. I have too many decisions to make and none of them are easy. My mind is telling me one thing and my heart is telling me another. Either way I won't get what I want. How do people make these decisions? I am lost and have no one to talk to without the consequences.

You

There comes a time in life when you have to crack down and make decisions for yourself instead of others. Hurting someone sucks, but why waste your happiness? I am struggling with making decisions for myself. I'm thinking too much of others rather than myself and I am miserable. I cannot focus in school anymore and it just began, plus senioritis is kicking in my last semester of high school. 

I hate the fact I don't have anyone to talk about my situations because I made promises to others and there is no one to talk to besides this blog. I need more strangers in my life that do not know anything about me but I can tell my secrets too. Preferably not a pedaphile. That would be nice. 

Short blog but I needed to say something

-xoxo Rach

2015

THE NEW YEAR HAS BEGUN!!!

I couldn't be more excited for 2015. It's my graduation year and it's its a great year to change a few things.

ATTITUDE: I admit I have a little bit of an attitude problem. I'm always pushing things to my worst and my temper is short. It's time for me to change that. I've recently taken a college class that helped me realize my relations with myself along with others. It made me notice my strengths, weaknesses, temper, attitude, time management, etc... It was extremely helpful to me. 

WEIGHT MANAGEMENT(of course): I feel like everyone's new year's resolution is to lose weight. I not alone want to lose weight but gain muscle. At the beginning of the school year I lifted weights during volleyball practice when I was injured and I absolutely loved it. I didn't go hardcore or anything, I lifted for a certain amount of time at each station everyday and I could see results and it made me feel so happy that doing that little could go such a long way. After I stopped lifting I felt the difference and started to gain some weight. Now that I am out of basketball season due to another injury, I am not doing any physical activity and that needs to change this year. I want to feel different about myself and be able to look in the mirror and say "Wow, I look good".

COLLEGE: College is a difficult choice for me. I have the fear of spreading my wings too fast. I want to start out small and go big. I do not like to fail. Choosing the right college means everything to me because I do not want to be the one to drop out. I've seen many people spend so much money on a good school and have them just drop out and end up with thousands of dollars in student loans. I don't want that stress for myself. That's another thing...

STRESS: I have had problems with stress in the past and I want that to change this year. I hate the feeling of being stressed so much. I have come up with a few ideas to manage my stress levels and that includes; not taking more than I can handle. I always want to satisfy everyone, leaving myself unsatisfied. I need to start worrying more about myself rather than what others think. School always leaves me stressed and I need to set up a time schedule for myself so I can manage my work more evenly. 

PEOPLE ISSUES: I care too much about what others think of me, I've known this for years. But now I am taking charge of myself and not letting myself care. I know people are going to judge you no matter what. I need to stop caring. That's easier said than done. I am slowly working to make myself better at. 

~Do what you want and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.~ Dr. Seuss. 

Thanks for reading!
-xoxo Rach