Lost in this thing called life.

So I recently lost my mind. I thought I knew where I was going to college and what direction I was heading. I'm lost now. I really just wish I could take a year off but that is just not an option with my mother. 

I think I am going to stick around town for another year or 2, and then continue on. I wish money was never an issue. I want to travel and see the world. Isn't that what life is about? I want to find myself. I thought I had found the love of my life too and now I have a voice in my head and someone yelling in my mind "Why so serious at such a young age" I cannot argue with this voice, as it is coming from my mother. I do not understand why it matters. I am not the same as everyone else and I do not get the freedom I believe I deserve. I hate that I have someone judging my life every step of the way. 

Life is sure one hell of a ride. I just want to live it to the fullest but I have that constant worry that someone will be disappointed with my decisions. I worry too much, I know. I never know what to do. 

SO WHAT THE HELL! Go hard or go home. 

Thanks for listening.

-xoxo Rach